Accountability List aka Not New Year's Resolutions But They Are - January 6, 2015

2015! Is! Here!

• At least a post a month here. 
• Possibly including some of the stacked up posts in the queue. Trying to be brave.
• 5,000 steps minimum/day. 7,500 would be ideal. (I have almost finished Serial, which was my carrot. I have a few other podcasts to check out, or I may start to delve into audio books.) (I currently love my FitBit, so perhaps I can KEEP LOVING MY FITBIT for more than a few months....)
• A recommitment to (sigh) tracking via Weight Watchers. I'm the tiniest bit off track but I learned through WW that this is when it's time to get back ON track.
• I've set a challenge of reading 30 books this year, which feels reasonable. You can see how I'm doing on my Goodreads page. I've finished one book so far - plus a cookbook, but I'm not counting that. 
• Keeping track privately of things going on in my life so at the end of the year I'm not scrambling to remember January-September.
• And a new job (in a pear tree). 

Pluses and Minuses for a Monday - January 23, 2012

+ My daughter's OT said he definitely notices her balance improving.
+ Therapists never blow smoke up your ass, I've found. All of the therapists we've worked with have been honest and straightforward - but always optimistic and positive about the big picture for my kid. If a therapist says s/he sees improvement, I take that as truth rather than as "oh, yeah, she's TOTALLY doing GREAT so don't worry or anything..." You know what I mean?
+ She stood up from a chair, took two steps, STOPPED, caught her balance, and took two more. Granted, I did not witness this - I never get to see the big things, she always does this for my husband - but she did it.
+ She is trying so hard to talk. Yesterday she said "Potty" very clearly. She didn't say "Bah" or even "Bay...eee?" she said "Potty." Sometimes she strings babble together with inflection, and often there are words and thoughts buried in there.

- She has more meltdowns because she's on the cusp of talking and gets frustrated even more quickly.
- She had an epic tantrum complete with kicking and screaming yesterday at a museum for - on the surface, at least - no discernible reason. One minute she was fine and happy and looking at art and talking the way she talk. She was interacting with the docents and she was pointing to various things in the art. The next she was sobbing, crying, hysterical. I think maybe it was because it was dim in certain sections (including, for a reason I don't understand, the fun playing kid section) and the lights set her off. Maybe she was overtired, though she doesn't nap anymore and so she still had six-plus hours until bedtime. I wish she could tell me.
- I wish she would nap. It would make her life just so much easier, but naps have been out the window for years and they are absolutely not coming back.

The week has gotten off to a rainy, stormy start, both inside and out. I'm hoping for improvement every day in every way.

End of the Year Meme List Thing - December 28, 2011

Apparently I did this last year, so I might as well be consistent and do it again this year.

(Secret - I'm writing this earlier than the 28th and just setting it to post. I'm so sneaky.)


1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
I joined Weight Watchers - and lost 20 pounds.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Apparently I kept two of them. (I did three craft shows, including one that was bigger than ones I'd done in the past, and I kept building on the stuff I have for sale at the co-op. I also pared down the baby gear - a pregnant friend got a TON of my stuff - and books - a lot went to Goodwill - though I can do better with the book paring. I didn't really wean off the Internet as I had wanted, I didn't read 50 books - I read about 30 though - and I didn't drive to the places on the list, though I did consistently drive to a bunch of places, drove to Target, and drove to Big Kroger a few times.) I had totally forgotten I'd made those. I don't think I'll make some for next year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yep.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not directly, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
Massachusetts, which is, as I noted in 2010, a country all its own.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A bit more confidence. More strength. And maybe 2012 is the year my daughter will take 10 steps in a row?

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
This year feels like one big blur. The first summer after the first year of preschool was a struggle. Bean (a place) saved us. My daughter finally weaned. The last year of preschool began. I don't know!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Losing 20 pounds. Gaining three new freelance clients. Winning the milk frother. Nursing my daughter for four years and then gently weaning her when the time was right.

9. What was your biggest failure?
An overall feeling of laziness. And a messy house.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing too terrible.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new smartphone.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My kid's. Always.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Certain candidates for a certain major political office.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My kid, same as last year. Plus weaning - that was exciting in all sorts of ways. The Tori Amos tour. Weight Watchers. Some really good sales. Winning a few online contests.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Shattering Sea.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- happier or sadder? happier.
- richer or poorer? poorer.
- thinner or fatter? THINNER!!!!!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Cleaning my house. Travel.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Paperwork. (Renewals, yuck.) Playing around online and wasting time.

20. How did you spend the holidays?
As I write this, we have no plans. That could change, I'll try to remember to update it.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
All over again, yes.

22. How many one-night stands?
Zerrrooooo.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
CBS Sunday Morning, always and forever. American Horror Story. Revenge and Ringer. Once Upon a Time. How I Met Your Mother. The Big Bang Theory. Two Broke Girls (I just love Kat Dennings, I am aware the show is problematic).

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes.

25. What was the best book you read?
Rejuvenile. Spoiled. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. The Wilder Life. The Girl's Guide to Homelessness. The Boy in the Moon. One Hundred Names for Love. Home/Birth. Road Map to Holland. (The worst book was the Land of Painted Caves. Ugh.)

26. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn't see any new movies this year, which is sad. I watched Enchanted on DVD a lot. I checked a list of 2011 movies and I still would like to see 50/50, Melancholia, Bridesmaids, Super 8, Water for Elephants, the Muppets, and maybe War Horse.

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
"This fits again? YAY." I am slowly rediscovering tighter-fitting clothes. Skinny jeans. I love boots. The whole 80s revival. Good stuff.

28 Whom did you miss?
My friends in New England. My local friends who had babies (we all got busy). My friend who moved away temporarily.

29. Who was the best new person you met?
The rediscovery of an acquaintance who turned out to be an important friend.

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Get started. Stop putting it off, because once you start it, you're that much closer to your goal.

Updating Randomly - September 24, 2011

A list. In bullet form. And not much else, form-wise.

• First, my Amazon make-affiliate-links-easily widget seems to be dead. If you know how to get it to be undead, do share.
• Still working on finding my tribe of special needs moms. I reached out to a local email list looking for others like me and received three replies. One asked about a meetup I'd mentioned in passing - without a please, a thank you, or a "me too" in there. I sent her the information she wanted and never heard a thing. One zoomed right in on a comment I made in passing within my post about my writing/editing work and wanted to meet up to talk about how she could get herself into writing/editing. I had to just move past that with some eye rolling. And one was a fellow mama looking for someone with whom to connect. We had coffee yesterday and it was fantastic. One reply made it all worth it.
• Consignment season is winding down. I was very, very restrained at the one sale I went to yesterday. A cute girly outfit, two sweaters, a fleece top. That's it. And the prices weren't even that great, but the kid really did (still does) need some warmer clothes for the short-but-cold winter we get here in Georgia. She's otherwise set though.
• Sometimes I am just so tired of everything. 
• Sometimes I am able to swim to the surface again and look at the sun.
• The kid takes steps now, will stand for many seconds now, and is babbling strings of consonants and vowels with inflection and with occasional words mushed in. (She's loud.) 
• And yet her PT told me she may someday still need a stroller/chair for field trips, when she's older. I know the reality of my daughter's abilities, but I really would like to stay positive, focus on the now, and worry about the then in three or four years. Because she's doing so well. And she hates being confined in a stroller right now and much prefers to walk (with her walker or holding someone's hand). But she's getting heavy now and carrying her is getting harder. And I know she may still need assistance and I know that this is OK. But I don't like hearing it. Because I don't know what I believe anymore.
• Pumpkin season is upon us. I made pumpkin cream cheese and pumpkin spice syrup for coffee. I also made 100-calorie cupcakes (not pumpkin, but still good). I have plans to make pumpkin-oatmeal muffiny things. I found a lot of this stuff on Pinterest. Feel free to follow me there.
• I'm in my fourth week of doing Weight Watchers. Even with a trip out of town, two long car rides, and several dinners out, I've lost almost six pounds and am on my way to my 5% goal. I like this system - I like that it gives me parameters and goals and I like the accountability. I have no judgment about the old points vs. the new points, and I don't care if you did or didn't like WW for yourself or if you use a free system instead. I just know that for now, this is working for me and I like it. Now to just start adding in more exercise... (Perhaps starting the 30-day Shred again...or getting my Wii fixed so I can do Wii Fit? I miss my Wii.)
• I've been reading reading reading. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks was incredible. The Girl's Guide to Homelessness was heartbreaking and fantastic. And I'm concurrently reading Blue Jelly: Love Lost and the Lessons of Canning, Spoiled, and the The Man Who Ate the World: In Search of the Perfect Dinner. Oh how I wish I just had the widgety thing - making those links was kind of a pain. FULL CIRCLE! WOOT WOOT!

Random Roundup - August 3, 2011

• I won a two-week subscription to stock photo/image site Fotolia from Freebie Finding Mom. It entitles me to three downloads a day. Exciting! I haven't had time to activate it yet, but I'm hoping to use it next week. More images for my Etsy business, hooray!
• Speaking of Etsy, I've started really playing with fabric-covered (but still mylar-covered) pocket mirrors, bottle openers, and even one-inch buttons. A friend of mine gave me a bag of her quilting scraps and she has the CUTEST taste in fabric. Tikis! Cupcakes! Oranges! Kitties! My new circle cutter works well and I can see this all becoming very addictive. I actually can't decide between putting the stuff in my Etsy store and giving it to my offline vendors. 
• I would love to break off from Etsy, finally, and make buttonbabeboutique.com (which currently redirects to my shop) into a real, live store. I know a tiny bit of HTML (long ago I made marlatiara.com look all fancy, though I have no clue HOW anymore) but mostly I need some help. So if you want to trade web design for buttony things, let me know. 
• The kid has been back to preschool for two whole days. Last year, she went five days a week but only for four hours a day - attempts to extend that were made of fail for many reasons. This year, she's there 6.5 hours a day and so far, so good. That's the longest she's ever been away from both me and my husband, but her tantrums are more about how they don't let her eat crayons or she doesn't want to nap rather than about missing us. The teacher described one thing she was signing on the first day and we think it was "Daddy" and that she was saying that she wanted Daddy/was ready to go home now please. But I'm not sure. 
• She is on the cusp of walking, and I think school is going to push her to do it. She still can stand unassisted for seconds at a time, both with and without the SMOs. She can take a step or two. And she both loves using her walker - she seems to really be happy about the independence - and hates it, feels it's constraining. She also DESPISES the stroller now, so more often she uses her tricycle. It's interesting. I wish she'd still just go in the Ergo on my back.
• Pssst. I am fairly certain she has weaned. Four years of breastfeeding a child with cerebral palsy - not bad, if I do say so myself.
• I invented an awesome dessert. Take one 100-calorie pack of Trader Joe's chocolate chip cookies (they have actual ingredients AND they're delicious). Dump in bowl. Cover with lots of whipped cream (which honestly isn't that high in calories. mostly.). Sprinkle with TJs grinder of chocolate-sugar-coffee, which is my new obsession of deliciousness. Eat. Nom.
• I am currently reading the Wilder Life by Wendy McClure and I already sent her several tweets that were like "OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" or something. The book really is that good though. The whole Laura Ingalls Wilder love? I get that. My beat-up many-times-read copies of the books are easily accessible, and I still re-read the Long Winter every so often. Also, I will put it here to avoid tweeting her again, but she remembers THAT Twilight Zone episode - the one I too remember about the boy who forges the psychic link with the girl who lived 100ish years ago. She notes the orange juice scene! I was THINKING about this episode in the first few pages of her book. Yeah, that's awesome.
• (I want to write a similar book about A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - except that was really really fiction and there's not much to do but say "Um, so I went to Brooklyn and there were trees, but no junk shop and no school with women who spank kids.")
• I am also reading Forever by Maggie Stiefvater. I got to see her speak the other night at my favorite little bookstore. She's funny and charming. The book...is slow going for me. I keep putting it down. I keep peeking a few pages ahead. I am antsy. This is why I rarely read fiction though.
• America's Got Talent is not inspiring me to blog this season. I'm sorry. I really like some of the acts but I am not in love with everything like last time around. I am obsessively watching though, and sometimes I tweet at Howie Mandel because, you know, I'm a dork.
• And finally, I wish I was fancy enough to go to BlogHer. Maybe someday it will be in Atlanta. I did make buttons for Special Needs Bloggers. I wish I could be there to see them being worn on lapels and shirts and purses. 

Thursday Rambles - May 12, 2011

• I have discovered banana "ice cream" and I think I am addicted - in the way that I get addicted and obsessed about something and make it 20 times in 2 weeks and then never again. Frozen bananas + Vitamix = a cold, creamy, delicious thing. I plan on adding chocolate next time. Or peanut butter. Or both. It's good. If you don't have a Vitamix, I'd cut the banana in small pieces before freezing, but my wonderblender did power through frozen halves with some sad sounds and then a triumphant whirr. I did add a bit of almond milk to help it along but I don't think it was necessary. I'll take a picture next time - I have one banana in the freezer right now but the rest that were in the house were not quite ripe enough. 
• This week Kroger had another "buy 10, get $5 off" sale that I both loved and hated. Loved because there was the potential for free+overage, hated because...10? Really? Just make everything be on sale, please. So first I drove to nearby Big Kroger. They didn't have any of the overage stuff - just empty sad gaps on the shelves. Next my entire family went on an adventure to Collegey Kroger (I just named it that, I'm sure the locals have a name for it). It had free WiFi and it stocked some faux seafood by Yves that I'd never seen before (verdict: good but pricey, I preferred the "shrimp" to the "tuna" and I'd buy again but I'd love if it was on sale/coupon when I did) but it didn't even have spaces on the shelves for the superdealios. Sigh. Today I walked to Baby Kroger for one last shot - no spaces on the shelves there either, but I bought 6 packages of Laughing Cow cheese and 4 boxes of Garden Delight pasta - the pasta was free after the deal and the Cow was $1.50/package - my favorite price to pay is $1/package but between the fact that this year they've only released $1/2 coupons and the sales haven't been as awesome, I figured $1.50 was pretty great. I wish the store stocked more flavors but I took what I could get. I also grabbed another container of almond milk - $1.99, found a bunch of 55 cent coupons at Big Kroger so yay - but I got unflavored, not vanilla. I'm sure I can manage to find many uses for it though.
• It's already in the 90s here. The NINETIES. It will cool off by the weekend but for now...too hot for May. Hrmph. But I'm trying to enjoy it. And to be happy that I have central A/C, a luxury I did not grow up with.
• I have actual paid work coming in now - writing AND editing. Hooray!
• I really don't like who wound up in the ANTM finals. I am ignoring AI almost completely. I read about the Voice but don't have time for it (am rooting for Frenchie and for a local-area woman who a friend sort of knows). Mostly my TV watching has slowed dramatically - which means my Internet surfing has increased. Ah well. 
• I'm reading Love You to Pieces right now. It's no My Baby Rides the Short Bus but it's OK.
• I've had moments of feeling alienated, again, from the special needs community, the CP community, and the parents-of-neurotypical-kids community lately, but I shall not dwell. I also have moments where I'm surrounded by good people, so it evens out. Sort of.
• My kid is kicking ass and taking names with her SMOs. That light twinkles at the end of that tunnel. I know she will stand and walk more soon. 5 seconds here, 10 seconds there, 2 steps, 3 steps. She's a determined kid. 
• Happy Thursday. 

So It's Monday Again - March 14, 2011

• I finished two books over the weekend - Matched and On a Dollar a Day. One I liked until about 3/4 of the way through, one I didn't much like at all. I am trying to get up the passion and energy to actually write a review of one or both. In the meantime, can you guess which one I give a solid B+ to and which one was a disappointing C-/D+?
• Daylight Savings Time has begun. Surprisingly, the kid went to sleep very easily at her regular bedtime according to the clock. Well, maybe not that big of a surprise - she skipped her nap. I still haven't decided if I like that tradeoff. People keep telling me that she'll give up her nap completely soon but I don't see that happening - if nothing else, she'll be expected to "nap" or at least rest at preschool for another two years. If she does stop napping, though, that means that she'll be pretty much almost completely but not quite weaned. And I'm so OK with that. 
• I had a long to-do list for today and did...some of it. One big thing I did was toss out all my expired coupon circulars. I had a lot. A lot lot. Nothing to do with hoarding, I'm just lazy. I'm going to try to do this every three months from now on. I waited quite a bit longer than that between the last cleanout and today and it was not pretty. 
• I also broke my "no international sales" rule for my Etsy store and set up a listing for someone in Australia. This is a test. If it goes smoothly, I may consider doing more international sales. The trickiest part is getting to the post office, which can be a giant pain in the ass. The shipping cost isn't as much as I thought it would be - or at least, that's how it appears on the USPS website - so it's more of the hassle factor. We'll see. This person ordered ten breastfeeding buttons - so basically they played to my softer side. 
• I didn't make it to a blogging meetup on Saturday because I just couldn't figure out the logistics. Instead, there was lots of time at the park - it was in the high 60s and low 70s - and walking around outside. Disappointingly, we ran into a mother who could not understand why I might not like her son climbing a swingset (not a climbing structure) and then dangling right near my child's face. I thought that it was a universal understanding that if one mother is uncomfortable/feels that her child is in danger, particularly if she expresses it in a as-polite-as-possible-while-being-concerned manner, other people back off. Alas, no, apparently sometimes it leads to a lecture instead. 
• I also got to go to an art gallery to see an incredibly provocative installation/show called My Sweet, Sweet at Agnes Scott College. (It closed yesterday - we saw it in the final half hour of it being up.) It felt good to look at art, take in meaning, and even talk to one of the artists himself. Go me, doing a not-mommy thing.
• So now it's almost time for lunch and then preschool pickup. I've got to find my groove for the week. Today it feels very elusive.

Day Four of List Week - Books and Music That Changed My Life - December 15, 2010

Five Books that I Thought of When I Decided to Make a List of Life-Changing Books

1. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
2. A Natural History of the Senses by Diane Ackerman
3. Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
4. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
5. Missing Angel Juan by Francesca Lia Block

Five Songs that I Thought of When I Decided to Make a List of Life-Changing Songs

1. Honey by Tori Amos
2. Fear by Sarah McLachlan
3. Trophy Girlfriend by Heavenly
4. My Finest Hour by the Sundays
5. Out of Habit by Ani Difranco

Arbitrary lists are arbitrary. The usual disclaimer of "OMG I could change my mind at any time" applies here, of course.