A Photo a Day 2016: Day 2

I don't know yet - will I do a post a day? A recap post every few days/week? No idea. MY BLOG MY RULES, I suppose.

I spent a lot of time reading tutorials last night - a blogger's "course," a free ebook that had great reviews - and also the book specifically about my camera that the seller threw in. Then I woke up and did everything wrong.

But I think I'm finally starting to wrap my head around this.

And of course the list of accessories I want is already growing - a bounce flash device, extra batteries, and a new lens that's still entry level and not too expensive but has great reviews. I've already ordered the protective cover for the lens I do have. I also want an external flash....and other lenses...and a different strap...and.......

Taking pictures of my cats is just a lot of fun, OK?

A Photo a Day 2016: Day One

I have wanted a not-point-and-shoot camera for YEARS. At first I was going to say "I've wanted a DSLR for years" but that's not true. When I was in college, I dreamed of owning a fancy FILM camera and running around taking gorgeous pictures. Spontaneous pictures. Pictures inside and out. But I couldn't afford it and I didn't pursue it.

I have always loved taking pictures though. I wanted it to be a serious/hobby - despite the small impostor voice in my ear saying "You are terrible at it. You are not as good as everyone else. You're going to get made fun of. You're doing it wrong. You are a poser. You just want to copy other people." That voice....that damn voice.

At the end of 2015 I was given a wonderful financial gift. As I wrote notes upon notes about what I wanted to do with the money - save! spend! save and spend! - I kept writing down DSLR. Over and over. Then erasing it. Frivolous purchase. I don't need that. (Did I mention I have a long Amazon wishlist of cameras I like? That every single Black Friday I'd add to that list? That I'd get overwhelmed with choices and back away? That I'd feel like I was wasting my money and close the tab?)

And then last night* as I was perusing the local yard sale groups on Facebook, as I often do, I came across a local woman selling an older version of a DSLR for what appeared to be a great price. I did some research and...I closed the tab. The research told me that the camera was great and the price was great. But again, I gave up.

Today the post was still there. Nobody had claimed this camera. I said to my husband, "Should I do this?" YES! YES YES YES! And after a bit of back and forth with the seller, I claimed it. It was mine. She was extremely enthusiastic about the camera - she'd simply upgraded to a newer model - and that sealed the deal. I bought it.

I now have to learn how to use it. I refuse to use Auto mode (except when....necessary). I want to understand every single tweak I can make. I want this older model to lead me to buying the latest and greatest down the road. I am ready.

I figure I should start by forcing myself to take a photo a day and to post it here. To show my mistakes as well as my successes. And to shut that fucking voice up. I am NOT a professional photographer. I've owned this digital camera for....a few hours. But we'll see where I go. At the very least my goals are to take nice pictures of my family, to upgrade the pictures on my crafty website and in my Etsy store, and to also update the pictures (taken with my phone) that I use on some of my crafty wares. I just want to PLAY this year. I haven't had a new hobby in a while.

Here is one of the first photos I took today. It's of my cat. I was trying to see if I could take a decent picture in low light, and I learned after the fact that I'd had some of the settings backwards - my ISO was too low in a lot of my test pictures, for example. I'll learn. So I don't remember offhand which settings I'd tweaked or anything, but I will start to take notes about that too so I can learn what works and what doesn't. I figure I'll look back at this picture in a month - in six months - and laugh. But I have to start somewhere.

Mr. Moo.

And now to read all the tutorials, watch all the videos, and possibly sign up for a class - or beg one of my local photographer friends to teach me the ropes. I'll get there. This isn't a whim. This is a LONG TIME COMING.

*It was, yes, New Year's Eve. I was home with my cats on the couch - husband and child both asleep for the moment - and I was on Facebook. Yup.

End of 2015 Meme List Thing - December 24, 2015

Away we go! I did this in 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, and 2010!

1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?

Pink hair! (I'd had pink-ish hair when I was 20 but not like THIS.)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I really try not to make these, and I didn't really make any last year, but I am hoping to infuse patience into everything I do next year. The biggest thing is to not feel I have to get everything done immediately/early. To say "This isn't due for two weeks, so I will let it go until I am ready." To say "This isn't happening on the timeline I want, but I am going to let it breathe just a little instead of worrying myself to death and making unnecessary updates/calls/changes." To not get an email and panic, run around, and scream - to wait, to let that ride, to sit through it, and then to manage it. It's a daily struggle. 2016 is when I will try to really do this.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Several friends welcomed new babbies this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes. My husband lost his grandmother. And at the end of the year we lost Kristen. #BeRelentless

5. What countries did you visit?

I look forward to traveling again someday. Some folks from the UK did visit us, and all of the grandparents made it here at one time or another to visit the kid.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

More peace. More writing work. More money. More patience.

7. What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

November 15, maybe - it was a LOT of fun. Every year I realize I can't remember the first half of the year at all - I'm going to work on that.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Holding it together all year.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Didn't read enough books or drive enough. Didn't pitch any articles out of fear.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No, though I had many trips to the women's center for testing. Thankfully, this year all were eventually cleared. Also gum surgery, which was SUPER FUN. (Actually, it wasn't all that bad. Mostly a nuisance.)

11. What was the best thing you bought?

THERATOGS. The Inspiralizer (sold my Paderno to a neighbor). New boots. A GIANT box o'makeup. Nice sheets. A Paperwhite. Also the new car (though we didn't buy it, we're leasing it - despite what you may have heard, sometimes leasing IS AWESOME).

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Everyone was kind of terrible this year, no?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

No comment.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills. Theratogs.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Sleater-Kinney. Out of towners. My birthday. The car. Star Wars. Thrift scores.

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?

Probably the Adele song. I didn't listen to enough new music this year!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

That's really hard to quantify. The end of 2015 was hard. But overall 2015 was pretty good.

II. Thinner or fatter?

At WW goal! Four years!

III. Richer or poorer?

Stable.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Driving, reading.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Anxietying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Probably the usual - a trip to Super H-Mart, Indian-Chinese food.

21. What, if any, insight did you gain about yourself in 2015?

That I'm NOT too old for it all.

22. Did you fall in love in 2015?

20 years!

23. How many one night stands?

LOLOLOLOLOL

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Jane the Virgin, UnReal, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Hannibal, Bojack Horseman, Orphan Black

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hate is a really strong word, but I probably will never forgive the Mean Girl who Meangirled me on the Internet. She was a nasty piece of work, I tell you what.

26. What was the best book you read?

Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl, El Deafo, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (even if I only lasted a few weeks), Station Eleven, The Royal We, Vitamania, Yes Please

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I listened to so many podcasts that I barely had time to listen to any new music. (Not on that linked list, Limetown - amazing.)

28. What did you want and get?

The Inspiralizer. A good month financially. A new car.

29. What did you want and not get?

A job. Still.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?


I saw two movies in the theater this year: Inside Out and Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Both were excellent and both made me cry.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 42. Had a sleepover at a friend's house. Went to a tiki bar. Ate greasy unhealthy vegetarian food. It was a good one.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Money, I suppose.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?

Adventurous (for me), skirts, tights, skinny jeans, boots, and attempts at eyeliner.

34. What kept you sane?

Reiki. Hanging out at night with neighbors (and wine - but the wine was secondary to the company). The occasional "running away from home" days or nights.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Nyle.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Love trumps hate. Gun control.

37. Who did you miss?

Friends in far away places.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I don't like to name names.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.

Pink hair can change your fucking life.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

See what it is. You might feel better. See what it is. You might not be afraid.

A Story of Memory

It's funny how memory works. How something can be so clear and vivid for one person and for another who was there at the same place and time, it can fade, fuzz, or simply vanish.

When Facebook was still a new thing - a thing not everybody and their great-grandmother used to share recipes, political memes, and pictures of cats, a thing that was newly opened to everyone outside of the college email address domain - I joined up and started searching for people I remembered. At that point, not everyone was there (I suspect now that almost everyone is there, but I've changed how I use Facebook as well). But one of the names I searched for came up immediately.

She was my friend when we were about 5-8, I think. Maybe a bit younger. My own memory is out of focus, but she is clear. She lived a short while away from me and we played together often. We had the tormenting friendship of little girls. I remember so much of it because for whatever reason it made a strong impression on me. The time she couldn't come to my birthday party and then showed me the gift her mom made for me but let her keep. The time her dad helped me ride a bike. The time she and another friend ganged up on me and accused me of something impossible. The time her mom taught me paper crafting.

One day she told me she was moving. Moving to a city that is, in reality, not that far from where we lived but that seemed a million miles away. The years before the Internet, before an easy way to at least feel that you are in touch with someone simply by clicking "friend" and then occasionally glancing at a screen, when someone moved away that someone was gone forever. I imagined her in a shiny golden palace, in a giant city far away, growing and thriving. I never forgot her.

Well, apparently she forgot me.

At the time, when you made a friend request, you could also send a message at the same time (I think it may have even been mandatory - or at least hard to skip). So I did and I excitedly said something like I found you! How are you! It's me! From that hometown a million years ago! Hello!

Her reply was cold and distant. Did I know you from church? I don't really remember.

I'm Jewish....

No, I said, it's ME! Me from these adventures! ME! Your dear friend from all those years ago! Do you remember this story?

And she never replied to me again.

Memory is fuzzy, vanishes, is replaced by more important stories that happen when you move away and leave behind your childhood. My story was not her story. I had to let her go.
----
An experimental post that may be tweaked and updated over time.

Pink hair. Don't care.

In college, I studied for a semester in London. I ran around and acted like a fool because I was 20 years old and had no real responsibilities beyond showing up a few times a week to a class (our abroad program brought its own professors along - the grades directly flowed right into my transcript without a problem) and going to theater two or three times a week (part of the program). I got in trouble, I caused drama, I went to museums, and I learned a lot about who I was/who I would be.

One thing that I did was to purchase a container of pink dye - it wasn't Manic Panic, I don't think, but it could've been (I actually had a container of pink Manic Panic back at home in the U.S. that I'd never done anything with beyond staring at it longingly) - and dump it on my head. I didn't bleach my hair (which is on the darker side of blonde when left to its own devices) so the color was subtle and shimmery in the light but not very noticeable otherwise. A classmate called me an Easter Egg, lovingly yet harshly, and she was right. So? It was awesome. I loved it. It washed out quickly and was gone.

Then I never had the guts to do it again.

So we're clear, my hair was many colors before and after that. It was auburn, it was dark red, it was light blonde, it was even a purple of sorts, but it was always within the general family of....natural, dare I say? My colors came from boxes bought properly at the drugstore, not from one of them there "beauty supply stores." (Scary!) I had it professionally dyed a few times but mostly I relied on good old $6 boxes of goo in whatever color seemed most appealing. There was also the year of the dollar store colorful mousse - a stripe of turquoise or fire engine red that would make my hair stiff and would wash out rapidly in a single shower - that was about as adventurous as I got in that direction.

Then I stopped dyeing it completely and left it alone for a few years. I grew it out, I cut it back, I fell in love with a hair stylist in that way one does, and she moved away just as we were getting settled together. I had a terrible, awful, no good haircut that left me nearly in tears - though at that point I'd learned that everything grows back and that tears are pointless - and I let it grow to the middle of my back.

Then I met Misti. *cue the dramatic music* Misti had posted in a Facebook group that she was looking for someone who would let her do pretty much anything to her hair in trade for exposure and a spreading of the word of Misti's all around fabulousness. I raised my hand, meekly. My hair is untouched! I said. And long! And I don't care what you do! Go forth and do whatever to my hair! And I can't afford you otherwise so please pick me! And also, we both know the hairdresser who moved away she was so fabulous wasn't she are you as fabulous as she is huh? And Misti reached out and chose me and all was fantastic and I have had the best haircuts of ever and ever for about a year now.

Early on, Misti hooked me up with beautiful highlights of blonde in my hair. Natural looking yet, you know, just a bit of extra extraness. Subtle but dramatic. Perfect. Because of our arrangement, I didn't dare ask for more hair color though - it takes hours and energy and I saw that time as a super deluxe favor, never to be repeated (it grew out perfectly because she knows what she's doing).

But then this summer she mentioned she'd be open to another round of color. And I said, "Misti. It's time. It's time for bright, dramatic color. I want pink. Can we do pink?"

You see, I really really really needed a change. Something to shake up my life. I'm in a rut with my writing (that's why I'm writing this, by the way - it may be imperfect, but I'm hoping to unlock something by blogging again as I work on my Other Writing Things). Having a child with a disability is a daily energy drain (and I love my daughter beyond any love I have ever felt before forever and ever - that doesn't mean she's not difficult or problematic). Money is always a worry in the life of two freelancers, and despite my best efforts - two to three resumes a week out there for 18 months - I just wasn't getting hired by anyone. So I said fuuuuuuck this. And Misti said yes.

I sent her a bunch of picture of what I might want. You may not be surprised to hear that it's hard to find pictures of real people with real brightly colored hair. Lots and lots of Photoshop going on out there. Also, I am over 40. Many of the pictures are of children who are 12. Or perhaps young women in their 20s - I like to imagine I am in my 20s as well, but I'm not, and I don't want to look like I'm trying to be that age. I want to look like me - fabulous, 40+, but...bright.

Misti is magic. She took my pictures and she looked at me and chose the bright colors that still would work with my actual face and she made my hair into the most amazing thing I have ever seen. She literally PAINTED ME with five different colors. She made my hair do that ombre thing that I wouldn't have dreamed of asking. I actually thought I'd probably wind up with a few streaks of pink - or maybe pink tips. No, I got a full head of pink purple red peach. And I cannot stop staring at myself in the mirror. It has brought me self confidence I'm not sure I ever had* and it has made me feel special and beautiful and cool and ALLOWED. I am ALLOWED. I have rarely felt that - I've felt (and I know this is ridiculous) like everyone is staring at me and judging me when I go into certain spaces, deeming me unworthy of being in said space. I know that it is not about the pink hair, but it has given me that boost to FEEL ALLOWED and that is what I needed.

You didn't think I'd write all this and not show you, right?

Outift notes: This is the amazing green coat I thrifted for $2.50. Plain black top, skinny jeans both from the favorite thrift store, boots from ModCloth. PINK HAIR.

*Of course, I will also give you the truth: I finally washed it after a week - yes, I showered with a shower cap until then, shut up! - and it's not as straight and shiny as it was when Misti styled it. But I'll figure it out. And it is still BRIGHT PINK.

More soon...

More Thrifting More Thrifting Always More Thrifting - October 9, 2015

Yesterday was full of those little things that make it feel like the universe is messing with you.

My trip to see Amy was complicated by a "major" MARTA delay. I nearly turned back and went home but I decided to brave the drama and in the end it only delayed me by about 15-20 minutes, though that included the train stopping up on a trestle in the trees for about 10 minutes and my ensuing panic that we'd be stuck there FOREVER. Also, I was overcharged by one thing at the thrift store (I'm chalking it up to "awesome deals are still awesome.") and I broke my favorite sunglasses (I ducked into a store and bought a pair for $2 on BOGO clearance - Amy got a headband).

Anyway, I did go to my favorite thrift store despite protesting that I shouldn't, I didn't need anything, I really shouldn't go. And I spent too much - but I love everything I got, so it's OK, right?

I only know the prices of a few things and like I said, I was definitely charged for one phantom item but I can't figure out WHICH item (the receipt is confusing).

Braves!

Falcons!

Thrashers! (RIP)

I needed to represent nearly all the sports of Atlanta, apparently. The Thrashers sweatshirt is REALLY squishy and comfy.

Tahari

Tommy Hilfiger

The Hilfiger dress is adorable and way better than it looks on the hanger - plus it has pockets! And the Tahari dress made me feel fabulous. (Update: I sold the Tahari dress. It was too big.)

So hoodie - very very soft

I don't feel like retaking this picture but it's an amazing tan corduroy Bass skirt.

All shorts were 50 cents so I got these. Amy hated them, I liked how they fit and I'd gotten in a rut of either denim capris or skirts so...something different.

One "specially priced" shirt for the kid - $2.50 because it's Gymboree. It's very cute.

Favorite purchase I think, though I waffled. It's a BRAND NEW Lily Bloom crossbody purse. I had been searching for a new fall purse and this fit the bill. It's adorable and was $10. (Update: I carry this almost EVERY DAY.)

And finally...

Boden!

BODEN!

Two SUPER SUPER cute Boden pieces. I'm trying to sell the sweater immediately because it's the wrong color for me but is perfect otherwise. The skirt is a maybe - I love it but I'm not positive I'll wear it, so I might sell that too. I'm hoping to make back what I spent total (about $38) but even half that would be nice.

Yay thrifting!

Let Me Tell You About My Crafty Business: The Button Babe Makes Pocket Mirrors, Bottle Openers, Pinback Buttons, Jewelry, and More

Did you know that I have a crafty biz on the side?

While my main freelance work is writing, copy editing, and proofreading (and I'm currently seeking a full-time job in Atlanta doing all of this), I also make and sell the following as The Button Babe:

• 1 inch pinback buttons
• 1 inch magnets
• Interchangeable jewelry with 1 inch magnet charms, including bracelets, necklaces, and rings
• Necklaces with 1 inch charms
• 2.25 inch buttons
• Pocket mirrors
• Bottle openers
• (And every single thing is fully customizable!)

I'd been a collector of cute 1 inch pins since my days as a 90s hipster/zinegirl, and when I won a little bit of money from a now-defunct search-and-win site, I invested in a professional grade one inch button press and had a great time making not only buttons but also magnets and jewelry. A few years later I invested in a second press that makes 2.25 inch buttons, mirrors (which I occasionally turn into hanging ornaments), bottle openers, and more.

I have an Etsy store at tiarabuttons.etsy.com and my own independent online shop at thebuttonbabe.com. I also sell my wares in Decatur, GA, at HomeGrown, and I hope to find some new brick and mortar venues in the near future.

I'm trying to expand my social media reach as well so if you are so inclined please follow me at:

• thebuttonbabe on Twitter
• thebuttonbabeshop on Instagram
• thebuttonbabe on Facebook