Thursday, October 13, 2011

Doing Things for Me - October 13, 2011

Wow, it's October 13. That means my birthday is a mere month away. Buy presents! I'll be...closer to 40 than I was today.

So after four years of "but it's just baby weight! I'll lose it soon!" and "I'll probably lose it by breastfeeding" and "I'm sure I'll lose it after she weans" and before all that "I'm just getting older" and "I still really think it's fine to eat a carton of ice cream in one sitting" and all along "I really don't think I need to do anything special to lose weight," I joined Weight Watchers. I think I mentioned this before, but I'm going to ramble about it again, so bear with me.

Seriously, I was in denial. When I was in high school, I was a stick. When I was in college, I was a twig - a twig who walked everywhere, danced her booty off, and ate whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. I also started smoking (not ever a LOT of smoking, but enough - what a disgusting habit that was... imissitsometimes...) and of course then eventually I quit (it's been well over ten years - longer, I'm fairly certain, maybe even 15?). Things messed up with my already messed up metabolism, but I never altered my eating habits to compensate. If I could eat a full package of Oreos when I was 15, I could eat it when I was 35 too. And it all slowly slowly caught up with me.

So I joined WW. I know nothing of "the old points," I joined with the Points Plus system. And I really like it. And today I officially (unofficially I did this a few weeks ago on my own scale, but if we're using the same scale/clothing on/blahblah thing) hit my 5% goal. And the Wii Fit says my BMI is normal again.

I have a ways to go before 10% and before I feel like my old self again. But I can see a number just barely ahead of me that I haven't seen since my wedding (8 years ago, when I saw a nutritionist for a few months) and I think if I squint I can see a number that makes me happy.

I'm doing this for me. Nobody else. And after having to do most of what I do for someone else for four whole years (far more than I ever dreamed I'd need to do as a parent), it was time.

I'm also writing this for more accountability. Sometimes I keep quiet about things because I want the results to be a surprise or because I just don't want to talk about it. But if I say "I'm trying to lose weight" (whatever way I choose - WW is a good start, but I may switch to SparkPeople or MyFitnessPal or something else in a few months, who knows) then I am held accountable and people can remind me to stick to it.

Although I have to say, sticking to it has not been particularly difficult. It's partly the way the plan is structured, but it's also that I am ready to do this now. I'm still eating the same things (I believe I always ate at least moderately healthily) but I'm either eating less of them or I'm spacing them out or I'm just being more mindful. Also I am just really sick of not feeling the way I want to feel.

So. Maybe I'll even post a picture when I hit 10%. Maybe.

Now go enter my giveaway for some Renuzit Fresh Accents house smelly goodness things.

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