Book Review: Rat Girl by Kristin Hersh

Rat Girl by Kristin Hersh

I am pretty sure the first time I became aware of Throwing Muses (at least in a conscious way) was around 1990, when a friend (an older guy in a cool local band - he was friends with my dad!) made me a mix tape to introduce me to music beyond my top-40 worldview. Hate My Way was on there, and he called it one of the best pop songs he'd ever heard, if I remember correctly. (The tape also included everything from Shonen Knife to the Sundays and it changed my life, as did the zines he sent me.)

Since then, I've been a fan of the Muses, of Kristin solo, of the Breeders, of Belly, of Tanya Donelly solo. (I like 50 Foot Wave too, yes, but they're not entirely my style.) I've seen Kristin perform solo many, many times, and she's simply mesmerizing to watch. Love her. Love her lyrics, love how she stares into space in a trance while she sings, love her energy. (I've also seen the Muses, Belly, and Tanya perform, and I've met Kristin and Tanya - both wore my tiara - click the links for more about that...)

Digression: The last time I saw Kristin perform was at Criminal Records in Atlanta. I was barely pregnant, not really showing but feeling like I was already giant. And a little girl pointed at me and said "Baby!" and her mother looked kind of terrified and horrified. I was ecstatic and let the mom and the girl know that yes, there was a baby in there...

In any case, I wasn't surprised to find that Kristin Hersh's memoir is intense and profound and also really, darkly funny. It's based on a diary she kept when she was 19, during a time period in which she was diagnosed as bipolar, was hearing voices and songs (she says she doesn't write the songs, they just swirl around her until she writes them down - which mostly seems...less than pleasant) and then became pregnant (which changes how her songs channel themselves and how she interacts with the world). The story is interspersed with flashbacks from her childhood and with Muses song lyrics that are relevant to the narrative. This book is a bumpy ride through chaos and out of it, and it offers an incredible insight into such an amazing musician. And it's simply a great story - particularly when she's discussing her friendship with actress Betty Hutton, when she's describing the ridiculousness of recording the band's first EP, and when she's thinking about hiding a snake in a bag in her lap. And as a mother myself, I loved reading about her pregnancy and how she handled it. (She's now a mom of four.)

I'm getting gushy. It's hard not to be fangirly about this book, in a way. It's like she invited me into her house for a few hours and said "let me tell you about this transitional time in my life" and then spilled it all. I could totally hear her gravelly voice telling the whole thing. Oh and I know I said it before, but it's WICKEDLY funny - a funny book with a not-so-funny core. I love that. And I don't feel like I'm doing this book justice with this review so just trust me on this one -even if you've never heard of Kristin, you just need to grab Rat Girl by the tail and immerse yourself in it. Meanwhile, I really need to buy Crooked: An Album (which is sort of a book too) when I earn enough Amazon gift cards from Swagbucks. Or maybe sooner. Yeah, probably sooner.

Kristin makes money by offering her music up for free and requesting donations, by touring, and by being awesome. Do check out http://throwingmuses.cashmusic.org and http://kristinhersh.cashmusic.org/ see what I mean.

Friday Five - October 8, 2010

Ah, finally Friday5.org has been updated, so here's the "real" Friday Five (though I think my earlier post was just as real):

1. Do you still have your senior yearbook? Where is it?

Yeah. It's on the bottom shelf of the bookshelf in my bedroom. It's a classy looking document of my past, full of big hair and people I barely knew. I have my college senior yearbook too - that thing is a disgrace, with pictures of people vomiting and people drinking (I'm not joking) and poorly reproduced senior pictures. My mother insisted I buy it and I gave in.

2. What souvenir did you bring back from your last trip?

I haven't taken a trip just for fun in so long. Most of our extended trips now are to visit family in Massachusetts. Souvenirs for those are pictures and a few extra pounds from eating lots of really good ice cream.

3. What visible signs are there of your most recent injury?

I have a new shiny scar on my leg from a splatter of oil when I was making fried eggs.

4. What’s the neatest wedding favor you’ve ever seen?

It's also been a while since I've been to a wedding. I think our wedding favors were neat - a 1" button with the date, our names, and two ladybugs. The button was attached to a little box with some Lindt truffles tucked inside. Edible or tiny. I liked it.

5. What do you do with playbills and movie-ticket stubs?

I keep them. I mean, I don't actually organize them or make them accessible, but I do keep them in drawers and piles and boxes. And then sometimes I clean and come across them and smile.

General ramble for a Friday in a Friday Five sort of way - October 8, 2010

I wanted to do a Friday Five today, but friday5.org hasn't updated (yet?) and the Friday Five on Livejournal is all about Disney, and I'm not really into talking about Disney. So I'll give you a list of five things instead:

1. Yesterday we kept the kid home from preschool with a slight fever and a bit of sniffles and pukeyness. Thus, it was a Very Long Day. 
2. We went to Target and I could not resist buying her a black shirt with a shiny pink skull on it. Halloween clothes are so cute - and cheap. We have a princess birthday party to go to tomorrow - do you think that shirt is appropriate? (Rhetorical question. But we don't really have any princessy outfits since a kid who can't walk can't really wear dresses very well, so I will have to figure something out.)
3. The kid's private speech therapist came by to try to do a session yesterday, but illness and crankiness cut the visit short. However, we all played with shaving cream and it was more fun and less messy than I expected. Plus as I knew already, my kid doesn't have many sensory concerns. 
4. I often wonder if people think my daughter is autistic because she's three and can't walk or talk. It's a hard thing to randomly address, so I often keep quiet. I have found that as the years go by, it becomes easier and easier to simply say "She has mild cerebral palsy" in a straightforward way, with a smile, without flinching quite as much.
5. It's the weekend! We have the aforementioned princess party, which should be fun. And my friend Meredith will be in town - she's the tour manager for Rachael Sage, who is also a friend of mine from way back when. We can't go to the show at Eddie's Attic (we're working on finding babysitters in general, but we don't have any quite yet) but we always manage to grab dinner with Meredith and say hello to the ever-so-sparkly Ms. Sage (whose music you should check out immediately).

I leave you with a new design of mine - a spider button (I drew the spider and also just learned how to make a photorealistic-ish shiny button image). He's not in my Etsy shop yet, but if you'd like one I can always make you a special listing. (And hooray, Blogger image uploads work again!)

Super cute Halloween spider one-inch button.

Dieting: My Love and Not-Love Relationship with Hungry Girl - October 5, 2010

As I've mentioned a few times, I'm on a quest to lose weight. I can say it's the "baby weight," but my kid is three, so yeah, not so much. The fact is that my metabolism has changed as I've gotten older but I still eat like I did when I was 19 and pounds just melted away. I was far more active in my late teens/early 20s than I am today. I'm much more likely these days to wind up on the couch for more time than I should whenever I have a spare minute. Having a kid who can't walk unassisted means I'm not doing the usual chase thing (she crawls fast, but not that fast) and I have my mornings to myself. I have been trying to at least do the "free step" program on my Wii Fit while watching TV (similar to walking slowly on a treadmill, at least it gets me moving and upright). Look back and you'll see my efforts to do the 30-Day Shred, but that hurts my knees so I sort of abandoned it.

But I need to eat better too. I'm a lacto-ovo vegetarian, and I think I eat on the healthier side of the spectrum. I buy organic most of the time, I try to avoid processed foods and eat whole foods (imperfect as I am, I don't always succeed, but it's a goal), I get really mad when a label says 0% trans fat because they actually have up to 0.49 grams of it per serving (which adds up quickly) (that link is sponsored by Smart Balance, so it's not entirely impartial, but it has some good info under the tab "The Truth"). But I still like ice cream. And pizza. And french fries. And going to restaurants - maybe it's not fast food in the traditional sense, but it's still usually not the healthiest thing around.

Which brings me to Hungry Girl. When I started really trying to change things up, I requested several of her cookbooks from the library, and I subscribed to her daily emails. And now that I've been reading her stuff in print and online for a while, I wanted to share what I like and don't like. (I titled this post "Love and Not-Love" because I don't hate her one bit, but I don't like everything she says either. There was a blog - since abandoned, it seems - that was devoted to hating her. I don't hate her!)

I like that she has turned me on to products that I now incorporate in my diet on a regular basis: Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Breeze (delicious - I use it in everything), Vitatops (love love love the chocolate flavor - I usually eat them frozen), Amy's Organic Chunky Tomato Bisque (I buy the Trader Joe's version of this, which I believe is identical/made by Amy's yet costs a bit less, though still a splurge for this frugal gal), Laughing Cow (I was already a HUGE fan but she just made me love it that much more, and she uses it in recipes I'd never have thought of - and yes, shamefully, it is processed cheese, but the ingredient list isn't terrible and, um, it's yummy, so there!), and tofu shirataki noodles. (I also am not a fan of 100-calorie snack packs, but she indirectly got me to try the Trader Joe's oatmeal cookie packs. They're made with real ingredients, including eggs, and they taste great. So let's count that too.)

Plus, I like the emails that have product news and reviews in them; she tries out the low-calorie food options in the grocery store and gives what I believe to be an honest opinion of them, and she often gets the scoop on new flavors/options that will be coming out in the future. I also like the emails that break down the calorie counts of many restaurant/fast food items; I find those very eye opening - I may have known something probably wasn't good for me, but seeing the numbers makes it very real. (An aside: I went to IHOP recently and they had calorie and fat counts right on the menu. I knew IHOP wasn't health food but man, that took all the fun out of it. Probably for the best...sure....) And I like that she often substitutes non-meat products for meaty dishes or that I can vegetarian-ize the recipes that I find interesting. She's definitely vegetarian friendly, which I think a lot of diet-type writing isn't.

On the other hand, I just don't like her recipes 99% of the time. She relies on substitutes so that things taste like the fuller fat/caloric version, but the substitutes are usually not particularly healthy. She likes Splenda - I won't touch it (I don't use artificial sweeteners). She likes low-calorie cheese and fat-free dairy (yuck). She likes non-fat Cool Whip - I think that's not a food item at all. She has at times suggested products that substitute healthy fats for fillers or may have that lurking not-really-zero-grams trans fat. And she's suggested products with gelatin, which is only annoying to me personally because I'm a vegetarian and don't eat that - not her fault (although why gelatin is a filler in so many things, including low-calorie yogurt, boggles my mind and kind of grosses me out). I was really disappointed with her cocktail book (though, honestly, what was I expecting?) because it's all "use diet soda and Splenda" over and over.

And I don't like her emphasis on calories. Because I've heard her say that fewer calories means weight loss, and she's right, but there are calories and there are calories. For me, it's worth eating real peanut butter (with just peanuts and maybe some salt as ingredients), which has more calories, yes, but also healthy fats and things that are good for me, rather than a product that adds a ton of other stuff to make up for the fat. It's the whole Michael Pollan idea that eating real food is important. Also, moderation is key and I think a once-in-a-while 300 or 400 calorie coffee beverage isn't going to kill you. (I had a Dunkin Donuts Pumpkin Latte today. I got it with low-fat milk. It's not healthy, but it's a treat, and it tastes better than my own pumpkin-y lower-calorie concoction I make at home. Hungry Girl rants about how many calories are in a medium; I got a small.) Her language about things being "dangerous" or "to be avoided" gets to be a bit much after a while, and sometimes it worries me because you could get a bit obsessive about that (which is not her point, I know).

I respect her perspective, which she's stated in several interviews, that she's not about teaching people how to eat their regular meals every day, that she's about making good-tasting snacks and lower-calorie meal substitutes, that she's about sticking to what people tend to eat and updating that. And she's not a nutritionist and says it up front. Fine, maybe people eat a lot of crap and eating lower-calorie faux-fried crap is better than fatty deep-fried crap. It doesn't mean I have to agree with either option. But I am not an all-or-nothing person (well, I try not to be) and I appreciate that I can pick and choose what I want to use from what she says. If you want something a bit more healthy, try Snack Girl instead, as she is focused on healthy and low-calorie snacks, and I got my kale chip recipe from her.

So if you're looking for cutesy diety tips (sometimes too cutesy, too cartoony, too "you go girl!" for me, but hey...), ways to turn your favorite snack foods and restaurant treats into lower-calorie items, reviews of new products, and a lot of interesting ideas, I think it is worthwhile to subscribe to the Hungry Girl emails. They're free, they don't take up space, and they're archived on her site as well. Pick and choose carefully. I just personally am not into the books and the fake food and the "low calorie or bust" mentality. Then again, if I found one at the thrift store or a used book sale, I'd probably grab it...

More yummy books - October 4, 2010

As I mentioned, I went back to half-price day at my Favorite Booksale of the Year (really, that's its official title...OK, no...). It was picked over, as expected, but there were still amazing finds to be found at ridiculously cheap prices. I put back so much because I am trying to be good...

I wanted to upload all of these pictures easily, but again I'm having trouble with Blogger's upload feature and am having to put them manually into PicasaWeb (no, I don't want to download the program - not yet anyway) and then manually put the links in here. Yuck. But I do it for you! YOU my reading public! (ha)

$1 - I almost bought this book on the first, full-price day. I put it back sadly. It was still there, so I had to get it! (This was the only Chronicle cookbook I allowed myself. Sigh.)

$1 - Squee! Cursing in Yiddish!

$1 - It's Boynton, it's music, it's a parody of chant music. And actually the music on the CD is quite beautiful - it's the lyrics (Pig Latin and bastardized Latin) that are silly, but not the singing.

25 cent book for the kid.

50 cent book for the kid. She loves this one.

50 cents - Looks fascinating for a kid-in-an-adult-body like me.

50 cents - I've always wanted to read this.

50 cents - I sort of collect these.

50 cents - I LOVE Tom Tomorrow.

$1 - I'm totally into these science/memoir type books. (See: Mary Roach.)

50 cents - I haven't been writing enough lately (non-Internet-like). Hopefully this will help.

$1 - A last-minute grab that's totally disappointing. Just reprinted essays. Eh. Probably will just redonate ASAP.

Then my friend gave me some of the books she was purging to make room for her haul of the day:

Food! Questions! Yay!

Books! Kitties! Extra yay! (I've also wanted to read this for a while.)

I read Beautiful Boy and it tore out my heart. I kind of have to read his son's version of the events.

A Buffy-sort-of graphic novel.

Burroughs for my husband (and me).

The kid approves! (I'm still nervous about posting pictures of her here - can you tell?)

I have a ton of Halloween buttons to make (my own designs - still drawing up a storm! - and some vintage art) for the local bookstore to carry this month. But first, I'm going to hop on the Wii Fit and do the free step program while I watch Saturday Night Live...

Friday Five - October 1, 2010

Courtesy of Friday5.org.

1. What was the last thing you dropped on the kitchen floor?

Last night I cooked dinner while my husband took the kid to the playground. I dropped onions (raw and cooked), carrots, bits of broccoli...

2. What cough drops do you like, and do they work very well?

I don't really use cough drops; I prefer raw honey for a cough. But today I scored three bags of Halls for 18 cents each, and I guess they work fine. My husband is more likely to use them than I do (he's a voiceover guy, he needs them!) but I picked flavors we'd both like.

3. Who was the last person you dropped off somewhere?

I myself have never driven to the airport or a train station, and I am usually the one being dropped off after an outing. But we did drop my daughter off at school this morning - does that count?

4. When were you ever dropped like a bad habit?

Two words. Bad Jen. First year of grad school. She dropped me so fast my head spun, and I still cannot figure out exactly what happened that was so horrible that she chose that path. I wrote a crap poem about the incident too. I suppose I could write the story out for you, but it's long and involved and from 15 years ago so I'll just let it be.

5. What are your favorite kind of raindrops?

Big, fat, fast, wet ones in the middle of summer. The kind you get soaked to the scalp from, the kind you can dance with.

Publix (and I hate driving) - October 1, 2010

About 43% savings at Publix - not bad.

I hate driving. I hate it so much. I hate bicyclists who don't yield. I hate trying to maneuver around bicyclists on a two-lane road. I hate people who don't signal when they turn. I hate iiiiiitttttttt. But, look, I'm doing it. I'm doing it, and I'm going places, and I'll just have to suck it up. I'm going to vent about it here though.

I also hate rude cashiers. And I had one today, and I actually wrote an email to the store about my experience. In this economy, with jobs being so hard to come by, I feel funny about complaining. However, if someone grunts at me, waves their hands at me, puts my car keys (which I handed over so my UPromise card could be scanned) at the other end of the aisle without telling me, scrutinizes every. single. word. on. every. coupon. and doesn't even make eye contact, she's not doing her job. A job I want her to keep, for the record. But when I go to other grocery stores and am smiled at, talked to, and acknowledged as a human being, I start to realize that being grunted at isn't really acceptable.

Whew! That said, I did pretty well, I think. I saved 43%, which is an unusually high percentage for me. What did I get? Fresh and frozen vegetables, milk, bread, cereal, cough drops (18 cents a package!), salad dressing, lentil soup, pimentos (for my cashew mock-cheese sauce that I make sometimes), low-fat ice cream, yogurt, city-mandated trash bags, whole wheat pasta and pasta sauce, tofu pups, coffee, straws (my daughter uses them because she can't yet drink from an open cup), Cascade Action Pacs (dye/scent free), and some taco dinner packs that were 25 cents each (one to keep and one to donate, probably). Oh and they had the NEW FLAVORS OF LAUGHING COW CHEESE as promised (well the OTHER Publix near me promised they'd have them October 1, but this store did too) and there were $1 off coupons right on the display so I got another queso fresco and chipotle (my faaaaaavorite - I heat up two and eat them melted with chips - and I also got a herb and garlic one) and am hoping that Laughing Cow will go on sale for $2 before the coupons expire because I took, um, a few extra. And I got some Babybel cheese too because it was on sale plus I had a coupon.

Essentially, that's everything I got. And look, it's things we'll eat or use, it's things that are moderately healthy and not entirely processed, and it's a bunch of non-food items. And a lot of it is brand names, but some of it is store brand because Publix store brand is good.

Thank you thank you Coupon Mom and I Heart Publix - those two sites are the reason I saved so much. And I definitely save more by forcing myself to drive to the store so I can go alone. Which almost makes up for hating driving. Almost. And I do still need to go to YDFM for more fresh things, but shopping for the week is more or less done.

[Quick note: If you arrived here because I posted a link on a savings blog, please have a look around! I don't always write about savings, but I love having new readers. Check out the right-hand bar for information about subscribing, following, and reading my intro post so you know what you're dealing with.]